I never thought I would ever get this far in my career as a teenager... but I'm here!!!
I feel like it's this movie/TV show sequence that's being played over in my head again and again until I realized that it isn't a dream...
I'm a Senior in high school and ....tomorrow's the start of my Senior Year!!!
while that may seem like no big deal because everyone has their own scenarios about Senior Year, mine has it's own grid of UN-folding to do.
in my entire high school year(s), this might see a little more on the personal side considering it's my first and only and I would like it to be the best of the best
....and as UN-exciting as this entire journal entry might sound, I am so excited I've got mini-shakes!
thinking back to all the ridiculous ideas I had when I was like a Freshman and even a Sophomore, I know that I have grown in a way I never thought possible! - I used to care about what other people thought of me instead of doing that I wanted for me! & while I have tried and failed nearly a 1,000 times to let people's ideas and thoughts group around in my head these past three years.... I think I may have finally worked my science to a T so to speak(:
like, all the usual Senior Year stuff you get ready for, I have been giving and getting everything I need to make sure that this is the year where there aren't any mess-ups and if they are, they can be easily fixed without worry or regret.
it's like, if everyone wanted a piece of my life, they would really have to fight for it - more like I would have to make them prove it to me that they are worth my time and energy.
everything I spend my time on has to be worth something because if it doesn't... it'll never amount out to anything in my life and THAT most of all will irritate me...
of course, I have been getting a ton of like negativity to my new journey and that seems to not be weighing out any of my decisions that I'm choosing to make - while some might call it "a quest to be spoiled" I disagree with them...
this is me, saying what I want without the least bit of concern for anybody that would like me to say "I'm sorry".
not to say that it isn't my scene anymore, I just don't feel the need to apologize for who I am (little Selena Gomez paraphrase right there!)
like she says: "Believe me, it's easier to just pretend..." & I'm not so much about pretending anymore
unfortunately, neither are my friends...
which is sad considering their all choosing now to not let the affects or sentiments of Senior Year wear on them... and unfortunately neither am I..
while I am going to miss how much fun it used to be imagining life with all those people I called "friends" in it..
I'm thankful I am meeting all kinds of newer people and holding on to memories.
I feel it's a better start of life to talk about the past than bring around those who created the past with you - ah well, this the life of a Senior is it not?
this journal might seem a little TOO personal - but one does find it hard to truly express such connectible emotions amongst a close circle. like a famous vixen once said:
"complaining to the inner circle is exceptional - show the public you do your job effortlessly..." ~ Stephanie Young
so begins the end of a great beginning; what it will bring - I have yet to discover. I will be here, doing what it is I do (taking pictures) & updating my journey is the most creative way possible.
I thank you all for listening; I plan to spend a decent and very enjoyable amount of my time on here - it shall be a journey I hope to never forget.
Love, Pop & Panda
Happy Senior Year!!!!<333